By Brett Chudá
No one wants an unlucky symbol accidentally marring her wedding day—or her future happiness. But some might not realize just how ancient and intricate the language of flowers is. Some otherwise beautiful flowers were bad omens to our ancestors. Yellow tulips mean one-sided or unrequited love to the Japanese, and yellow roses signified platonic friendship, not romantic love, to Europeans and Americans in the 1800s.
Sweet peas might look like a cute option for someone’s big day, but they signify good-bye. Red spider lilies say “abandonment, never to meet again.” But don’t worry, hundreds of beautiful blooms are waiting to bring romance and special promises to couples—just not French marigolds, which symbolize jealousy.
Fragrant Messages
What else would the Victorians say about today’s bouquets and blooms?
A lot. But they would likely argue over the exact meanings. That’s because the language of flowers, floriography, was so popular in the West from 1820 until about 1900 that flower dictionaries multiplied. Each European country practically had its own renowned pioneer.
The strict taboos in Victorian culture prevented people from directly expressing many thoughts and feelings, especially romantic ones. That made the wordless way of communicating through blossoms so appealing. So as long as the interlocutors agreed on a common source, a conversation in flowers could go something like this:
The gentleman presents a red rose: “I love you.” The lady admits a partial reciprocation of the sentiment by returning a purple pansy: “You occupy my thoughts.” The gentleman presses his suit still further with an everlasting pea: “Wilt thou go with me?” The lady replies by a daisy, in which she says: “I will think of it.” The gentleman, in his enthusiasm, plucks and presents a shepherd’s purse: “I offer you my all.” The lady, doubtingly, returns a sprig of laurel: “Words, though sweet, may deceive.” The gentleman still affirms his declaration by a sprig of heliotrope: “I adore you.” The lady admits a tenderness of sentiment with a zinnia: “I mourn your absence.” —from Hill’s Manual (Chicago, 1888)
The color of a flower can change its meaning yet again. A stark example is the way white is regarded in the East versus the West. In China, white is the color of death. In the East, red, pink, and others are colors of celebration and good fortune. In the West, however, white signifies innocence and purity and is looked at with positivity and awe. It’s the color that dominates weddings and bridal bouquets in modern times. If you’re seeking a wedding that appeals to both Eastern and Western sensibilities, look to traditional European cultures like Slavic wedding traditions and even early Victorians. You’ll find very different color combinations in bridal bouquets and dresses compared to those in modern wedding catalogues.
Sowing Their Wild Oats
Floriography owes a lot to the court of Constantinople in Ottoman Turkey, according to experts at the U.K.’s Walled Gardens of Cannington. In the early 1700s, the rulers of Constantinople sparked a society-wide obsession with tulips that coincided with a peaceful period and a growing affinity with European ways. It’s now known as the Tulip Age.
It’s widely held that the concept of flower languages appeared in Western Europe around 1720. But the first known dictionary of flower meanings is a French one published in 1819: Le Langage des Fleurs by Louise Cortambert.
When that book became a hit, flower dictionaries proliferated across Europe and North America. The golden age for the language of flowers had begun. One tome has stood the test of time, and that’s Routledge’s The Language of Flowers, sweetly illustrated by Kate Greenaway. It was first published in 1884 and continues to be reprinted to this day.
Before the Turks and Victorians brought the language of flowers to new heights, Shakespeare had something to say on the topic. In Hamlet, written around the year 1600, grief-stricken Ophelia famously lists a handful of flowers and their meanings: “There’s rosemary, that’s for remembrance; pray, love, remember; and there is pansies, that’s for thoughts.”
Ancient Asian Cultures Say It With Flowers
Japan is another culture that values deep, unspoken expression. Its code of flowers, called “Hanakotoba,” has solidified the meanings of 58 blooms into a single canon. Bring someone irises if you want them to know that good news is on the way. Bring lilies to someone you admire, but know that orange ones may spark a dramatic confrontation—they mean hatred and revenge.
Perhaps before anyone, the Chinese began cultivating deep meanings for their blossoms throughout their culture’s 5,000 year history. Famous flowers add rich layers of meaning to Chinese paintings, ceramics, and poetry. Peonies are known in China as the king of flowers and traditionally symbolized the imperial family. They’re also a sign of deep love.
Chrysanthemums signify longevity and wealth. Their name sounds similar to the Chinese word for “long enduring.” But they’re also closely associated with mourning and are often given at funerals. Lotus flowers are seen as deeply spiritual, representing Buddhism, enlightenment, and purity. The words for “lotus” and “harmony” are homophones in Chinese. The positive connotations around orchids are positively overflowing: love and beauty, married couples, wealth and fortune. Orchids in a vase mean “unity.”
Elite’s Quick Guide to Today’s Romantic Floriography
In modern times, certain flowers have set down roots in the public psyche. Here are a few fun and gorgeous alternatives to roses for a meaning-filled modern-day wedding or romantic occasion.
White lily: modesty and virginity
Hydrangea: perseverance and heartfelt emotion
Lavender: devotion and virtue
Dahlia: a commitment and bond that lasts forever
Iris: faith, valor, and wisdom
Lily of the Valley: sweetness and purity of heart, happiness
